Car Alarms

I'm curious. What is the first thing you think of when you hear a car alarm? I know I think, "Turn Off Your Goll Durn Car Alarm!" Very rarely do I think, "Oh, shoot. Someone's car is being stolen." It's so common that even if someone's car WERE being stolen, no one would bat an eye! Now I make it a point to be worried when I hear one. Just in case.

The Sporklift

I don't remember if I mentioned this in my previous post about "Things That Should be Outlawed", you know, things like woman mullets and Lionel Richie,but also among that list is sporks. I think they are more or less useless. I know, I know, you may disagree with me on this, but before you skewer me with spork shards, let me explain. The fork part of the spork, I mean the prongs, are so short you really can't skewer anything worth eating, and the spoon part is too shallow to actually pick up much liquid. So sporks remain the most useless invention of all time, next to Kenny G. (and his tour bus). Upon further thought, however, I have discovered something good has come out of this cutlery that may actually benefit mankind. And that, my friends, is: the sporklift. The sporklift is part bulldozer, part forklift. It can dig stuff up and hoist it in the next second! The sporklift saves heavy machinery companies millions, or at least tens, of dollars in both production costs, and the costs associated with running over convenience stores in a mad frenzy to have lunchtime donuts. It is useful on many fronts. I am curious to see just what CATERPILLAR has to say about this one.