Friday, July 8, 2011

Cantwell, Alaska

In my many attempts at world reform, I have started a very rudimentary letter to the governer of Alaska, where I currently reside. It concerns the city of Cantwell.
Cantwell, just fyi, has two bars and a million falling apart trailer homes. And by a million I mean about twelve. And by homes I mean condemned space. There were exactly two people in Cantwell's 2010 graduating class. Besides being a completely remote location of possibly, what.... 35 citizens, I attribute the educational count to the name of the city:
Can't well.
What a downer!
The name was given for the Cantwell River, later named the Nenana River (the no-fish-in-it river, in native Athabaskan).. So I feel no remorse in suggesting (strongly, with backup troops and extra artillery) a change in the name. To something like.....
Can well!
Or Mightaswell....
Or Verywell.....
Or It'sjustaswell.....
Or Ohwell.
Something else, to give the citizens of Cantwell hope in their currently glacier-coated hopes and dreams.

No comments:

Post a Comment