Cantwell, Alaska

In my many attempts at world reform, I have started a very rudimentary letter to the governer of Alaska, where I currently reside. It concerns the city of Cantwell.

Cantwell, just fyi, has two bars and a million falling apart trailer homes. And by a million I mean about twelve. And by homes I mean condemned space. There were exactly two people in Cantwell's 2010 graduating class. Besides being a completely remote location of possibly, what.... 35 citizens, I attribute the educational count to the name of the city:

Cantwell.

Can't well.

What a downer!

The name was given for the Cantwell River, later named the Nenana River (the no-fish-in-it river, in native Athabaskan).. So I feel no remorse in suggesting (strongly, with backup troops and extra artillery) a change in the name. To something like.....

Well......

Can well!

Or Mightaswell....

Or Verywell.....

Or It'sjustaswell.....

Or Ohwell.

Something else, to give the citizens of Cantwell hope in their currently glacier-coated hopes and dreams.