Sunday, September 19, 2010

Car Confusion

I have a beast of a car, an '85 Chevrolet Caprice Classic. Its name is Moby, because at one point it was a "great white whale". Now it's more of a cream/gold color, but the name stuck. I keep a stuffed whale on the dashboard, I have to hit the radio to get it to work, three of the doors open funny and the fourth doesn't open at all, and it has no headliner so I have people sign my ceiling. It is an old car (heck, maybe I should take that to the Antiques Roadshow!). So, I decided on a brilliant strategy, and that is: Buy a "new car" scented air freshener. That way, people will see my car and say, "Wow, that is an old car." BUT, when they get inside (once they can figure out how to jimmy the doors), they will be more or less transported to a different dimension/generation, and say, "Wait. Is this a new car?" and slyly I will wring my hands, mission accomplished and say, "Yes, why yes it is."
A brand-new car.
Ah, ah, ah (mischievious laughter).