Artificial Fruit

There are many things in this world I do not understand. Like neck beards. And dish sponges. And old people driving. But also included in this list are artificial flavorings. I mean, I understand why they exist... you don't want everything tasting like glorified air... But mostly I refer to fruit flavorings. It seems that across the board, grape candies all taste the same. But do they actually taste like grape? NO! Never have I had a candy, with MAYBE the exception of Jelly Bellies, that tastes like grape when it advertises to taste like grape. In fact, it's the same with nearly every fruit flavor out there. Banana candy does NOT taste like banana, and watermelon candy certainly does not taste like its supposed fruit either. I suppose if they did, we would prefer to just eat the fruit itself, which would run the candy business to the ground. Shame, shame.

Just for the record, though, Jelly Belly does a fabulous job. Their Bertie Bott's dirt flavored jellybean actually tasted like dirt. And cherry, across the board, is usually pretty close to reality.