ShamWow! update

You know, I've been thinking (a dangerous pastime). And upon further reflection, I have discovered how ShamWow can actually solve three, yes THREE, global crises. Tsunamis are a pretty big deal... Nothing to joke about, that's for sure. They destroy shoreline villages and cause all sorts of problems. But with ShamWow, the villagers can just line up along the shoreline, and hold up their ShamWows in the direction of the incoming storm! Forget sandbagging, these miraculous products will just absorb all the rushing, threatening water! THEN, when said storm is ceased, the villagers can send the ShamWows with some international humanitarian organization like the Girl Scouts and they can take them to a dry and crusted up third-world country and BAM, parched earth alleviated. And since the ShamWows are then more or less useless until another storm hits (so they don't suck up some unsuspecting person's body liquids), they can also be stuck into cracks that have been caused by earthquakes, making the ground not only even, but also very cushy and soft. Thank you, ShamWow, for helping the earth once again.